I have a distinct sense of dejavu going on as I sit here in bed at the general hospital where my bad luck seems to be continuing.
I went on leave last Saturday and finally got my hair done and then along with my parents we went to see Bens show throughout which I had a feeling that all was not well with him, my feelings were correct as he was not well and had thrown up mid show I took my brave soldier home and put him to bed. Sunday morning he said he felt a bit better and demolished fried eggs on toast and felt ok to go to work (filming a dance show) I decided to spend the day at my parents rather than on my own after I had met up with the girlies for a coffee in the morning. I had a fab time catching up with them and was a great start to my day.
After lunch mom and I went over to hobby craft but while there I began to feel unwell really sick and light headed we left and went back to my house to collect stuff to go back to unit after dinner that night, however when I got there I threw up and felt rotten and then continued throwing up till about 8.30pm.
In light of this the unit would not have me back until 72 hours from the last symptom and so I was stuck without any meal plan or portioning guidelines and in the whole time I didn't get a single phone call to enquire how I was or if I needed any help or support despite the fact I have been there for nearly six months and had only had one leave when main meals were involved and they were planed down to the spoon size. That aside I managed with much support from Ben and my parents to muddle through basing food round the things we new how to portion.
During this time my abdomen remained swollen and the weight I had initially lost taking the water tablets was going back on, I was finding it increasingly difficult to sleep again due to not been able to breath lying down and constantly coughing along with the pain that has now moved from the hip in to my back. I was so distressed that had I have been more selfish I would have topped myself as it was all too much to take.
In light of this Ben arranged for me to see the doctor from the unit in outpatients on Tuesday afternoon as Ben was not happy that nothing appeared to be being looked at and felt that I was just at a feeding farm without any physical or psychological help and support.
The doctor was good but didn't manage to allay my fears that my abdomen is going to return back to how it was and said he couldn't increase the water tablets without speaking to the medical team at the general as they were prescribed by a consultant, I stressed this needed to be done then as they were clearly not working. I was asked on the Wednesday to keep a record of urine input and output which was let's say interesting, weeing in to a jug!!!! He had also arranged for a ct scan to happen on Friday at 2pm to see what was happening in my heart and lungs as it would give a clearer picture than the X-ray and ultrasound.
I returned to the unit on Thursday morning after breakfast with much coercion from Ben as I really didn't see any point and it was already a really hard day for me as it was the three year anniversary of my nans death. As soon as I got there I saw the doctor who assured me he would contact the cardiologist and get some advice regarding medication. I waited all day and then the doctor said he had spoken to the secretary for the cardiologist who was unable to get me an earlier appointment than the one I have for April and so he had emailed him directly for advice. Unfortunately the advice was that I would need to be seen by the medical team for further scans and X-rays and the quickest way was to send me back to CDU to be assessed. So at 10.45pm on Thursday Ben and I were sat waiting in CDU for what was set to be a long night. My goodness it really was long Ben eventually left at about 6am when they let me sleep on a examination bed in a treatment room for an hour, next thing I new was breakfast and then back in to the waiting room for a further three hours. Finally at about 11.45am they had a bed for me on a ward.
I have a room on my own with an en-suite which is quite nice and has a good view. The unit sent staff over to be with me which was helpful when it came to lunch time as they really helped me through how much to eat.
I saw the cardiologist who said he was increasing the water tablets and would be looking to increase the heart meds next week along with introducing another one. He advised i would have further blood tests as well as the scan at 2pm. The heart failure nurse came to see me and went through a load of do's and dont's including decreasing my fluid intake while I have the oedema so it was good that a nurse from the unit was here to hear this info. They also said I would need to be weighed daily to keep an eye on weight gain or loss, not sure how I feel about this yet.
Ben came in about 4.30pm which was good. The unit agreed I didn't have to have staff with me constantly and that they would just arrange for people to be with me for main meals which is really all I need and meant that once I had eaten dinner Ben and I could enjoy the visit without an audience.
Unfortunately Ben and I had tickets to see a show tonight which I don't think I will be able to go to as it looks like I'm here for at least the weekend especially as the scan I was having at 2pm yesterday has still not actually happened yet. It's not ideal and I would much prefer to be at home on leave but I also can't go on like this I just want it all sorting so my abdomen can go back down, I can breath again and just get back on track with beating my eating disorder.
That aside however I may be leaving here in a police car at this rate because if the man who has been playing the same three songs since 6.50am this morning doesn't turn them off I will be killing him!!
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